States Tour

recently told that touring the country 'by myself' with my 3 kids was amazing and brave....would they have said that if my husband had done the same thing.  I did feel vulnerable on a few occasions, but I know that there are many men who would not have taken the risk of feeling vulnerable.  I am lucky that while sometimes there are some people in our society who might see a woman alone with children as "easy prey" ( and let me tell you, maybe the look in my eyes, told any would-be predators not to mess with me or mine, but they would have regretted that choice)...I am lucky, that I am comfortable knowing that I am vulnerable...at least as comfortable as one can be knowing that crossing the road, you could be hit by lightning....I am lucky that I chose to take the risk and live.  I am lucky that everyone i met along the way was a fellow human.

ok, but maybe they were not saying it that way.  maybe they just meant it was amazing, and it was. And that it was brave, it was that too!  I had to take the kids out of school, and spend EVERY MINUTE with them--well, I did let them go into the bathroom alone....most of the time....while I waited outside the door ;)  We drove 22,000 miles in less than 3 months, with 3 kids in the backseat of a PRIUS  = COZY.  Interestingly there has been more bickering and bad attitudes since we have returned to normal life--well, mostly, we are still homeschooling.

What Is It Worth To Me

As I go through my things I often think about how much I paid, or how badly I wanted it, or how long I waited for it.  And I have a house full of things that I really wanted, paid a lot for, were gifts, were treasures.  The question I need to  ask myself in the here and now is this,
"What is it worth to me?

SPACE VS. STUFF

Is it worth the space it takes up? Would I rather have this item than the space?  When did I use it last and when will I use or appreciate it next?  If I have not used it in over a year, perhaps the space is worth more than the object.  If i don't think I will use it in the next year, do I REALLY love it?  do I see it regularly and think how happy it makes me to see it?  If the answer is no...it can probably go.  If I am still feeling that i have paid too much for it to let it go, I ask myself how much could I get for it if I sold it?  How much would it cost me to replace it?  If it is less than $20 value and i have not used and do not see myself using it in imminent future, it is a strong candidate to leave.

Sometimes the intermediate box step is warranted...at least in my mind.  I have found that it takes real energy to make decisions.  And if I spend too long on a decision I use up all of my decision energy.  In order to get the most done, I will sometimes relegate an item to the purgatory box.  It can sit here until I decide that, "oh wait, I do want that", or "huh!  that has been in there a long time, guess I can let it go" happens with less effort.

Mostly purgatory is the bag that I accumulate "Get Rid of Its" in at the end of my garage,  In the 10+ years that I have been doing this only 2 items have been removed. Once its in there it is generally too much work to pull it out even if i think i might want it, i find that something else will do the job, and the whole bag just gets donated.  The 2 items were a tea pot and candle.  The tea pot, because i realized it made sense to brew the whole pot, and then just pour as I like, and this saved tea and energy.  And the candle was in the same bag, and the kids decided the night before they wanted to have candles every night for dinner the night before i grabbed the teapot. Clearly, had I not wanted the tea pot, the candle would have been donated--and guess what we have not followed through on candle use, but I have almost daily used a tea pot the previously i had never used.

There is another purgatory stage sometimes though.  Things that might cost more to replace would be put in a box with other similar items and stored away for a while to be revisited after long periods of not be used, and hence possibly donated.  For instance, I recently bought a fancy food processor, so it was easy to ditch the mini food processor.  Harder was the antique ricer with the wood mallet i have been using regularly for years--what if we lost power!  Same goes for the mandolin ordered from Germany, these are in a box tucked into the end of the attic.  I know that I have no intention of using them as long as i have the fancy food processor but they are wonderful simple tools I am anxious to part with.  I am going to give myself a break, taking them out of prime real estate,  I can keep them as long as I have enough storage space.  At the point that space is full, I will have to start letting go of that which is worth the least to me. Right now though, I am able to not let it keep me from making other decisions, just because I am stuck on that one.  These items are often easier to part with if I find them a good home with someone I know needs it.

Another item that has been in purgatory for a while is the skein winder above.  I know it needs to go, as I am not using it, and I have No place to keep it. I am ready to see it leave. If I had a huge farmas I am not using it, and I have No place to keep it. I am ready to see it leave. If I had a huge farm house, it would stay, but I don't.

I can go 3 Months without Washing My Underwear....

For clarification: I can go 3 months without washing my underwear AND wear clean underwear EVERYDAY!  And that is AFTER having removed 53 pairs!!!!

Maybe no one will get this , or maybe it will really help somebody get started . Sometimes I just need a small manageable project that will make me feel good so here's what I did today . Here's the question how much underwear, how many pairs, do we really need? I figured that when it's difficult to shut the underwear drawer it is time to sort through it and declutter.

So we probably need at least seven pairs. And you probably want to have 7 pairs that are best pairs for you know that time of the month. However upon counting:

8
I have eight pairs of underwear in my drawer that don't even belong to me.

27

Yes that's right 27 pairs that only deserved to be in the trash can.

10

10 pairs that I really haven't worn, these will get donated.

So far that was 45 pairs of underwear I'm not using taking up space in my draw.

Also have one pair of underwear that I hadn't been wearing because I bought it new, love it, washed it at a hotel and it turned dingy gray. those are being soaked right now, if the gray doesn't  come out I'll toss them in the bin.

48

Turns out I put 48 pair of underwear in my love it keep it then bin. I'm thinking I probably don't even need this many pairs of underwear. Meaning that really I should be able to Chuck everything in my middle, maybe keep box. I won't do this today because, I don't want to burn my decision making power out, I'm on a roll.

41

Pairs that made it through  a second sorting to the maybe bin. 

8
More pairs getting tossed, as I was putting them into purgatory I decided they really didn't make the cut.

HELPFUL CRITERIA:

THROW AWAY: 
These are my criteria for throwing something away. These are  the easy to toss items, they don't fit well, they are well used and don't look good anymore, I've never worn them, or they are not comfortable.

DEFINITELY KEEP (this time) :
So the things that I put my definitely keep box were the things that when I picked them up I said, "this is something that I've worn recently, know that I like and fit well. It was in good condition and I know I would wear it again soon without hesitation.

MAYBE KEEP:
As this was the first cut and I did not want to slow myself down, I gave myself the middle zone. I put items in this is one that I thought these are useful, and I remember really liking , are in good shape, and I probably paid too much for. This box will go in the front of the draw and I will use only these for the next few weeks. If I pick something up in the morning and I think I don't like that because _____,you fill in the blank, then I will get rid of it. However, if I wear it and like it it can stay, if at the end of the day they were uncomfortable it is out. Since starting to clear out, I have been known to actually take something off mid day and get rid of it.

All that said, I highly doubt that I actually need 89 pairs of underwear! So obviously I have a long ways to go. However by being easy on myself I now have a lot more room in my drawer. & I am NOT stressed out rather I am elated. Even knowing there's more to go I cannot work at it slowly, or do this again on another day when I'm motivated. Now if I just said its only reasonable to have seven pairs for that time, and maybe 14 pairs for all the time, I would probably stress myself out and be unable to make any more decisions.

And I got rid of an amazing 53 pairs of underwear. As ridiculous as I feel writing this, I bet I'm not alone in this.