Gifting Guilt

Going through things I am always faced with the decision of what to do with what I no longer want in my possession.  I find it easier to say, "yup done with this, not going to need it" than deciding what should happen next. Once some version of that thought has been tied to an object it is classified as clutter, something taking up space and energy that is unnecessary.  The options seem to be:

1. Gifting to others via family, word of moth social media, free cycle, etc.

2.Selling on eBay, craigslist, offered, etc.

2. Donating to charities, churches, shelters, fundraisers, etc

3. Landfilling

4. Hoarding

Our excess tends to accumulate guilt.  Hopefully the object was something that you loved and was super useful when you bought it. Maybe it was not, and the guilt was there from the start, you knew it should not enter your home, or maybe the guilt was there, because although you loved it you knew that you could not afford it!  I have this guilt from the start with some things.  I also have guilt with things that I needed, loved and used, and was perhaps even a gift. Generally this guilt only sets in after the item is in disuse.  I will see it and feel guilty i can no longer use it, it is worn out or outgrown.  Then I feel guilty that it is still taking up my family space and energy and often the time spent cleaning and organizing all of this stuff.

My first thought, especially with nicer items is to gift them.  I like knowing the the item will be used by someone, that i might save them money, or make them happy.  There is some science that gifting is quite beneficial to the gifter as well.  Yet  perhaps, it brings more guilt at times too.  I had recently donated the nail polish my daughters no longer use.  They did a small research paper on the effects of nail polish and decided it was not for them.  They had an extensive collection, at first I thought that we might use it for crafts, but no we have not.  So I posted it on FB, and within a few minutes a friend responded enthusiastically, and i got a wonderful visit!  But I felt guilty, yet didn't want to be the friend spouting health info. obviously she knew that i was getting rid of all of our expensive polish because we didn't want to use it...she is smart and can make her own decisions....and already was buying her own polish, so still better to keep it out of landfill, and from more being produced.  It brought back a memory of getting some children craft things from a free cycler.  I was thrilled, she was cleaning out and just kept handing me more.  Her 15 y.o. daughter came out and started being upset with her mom, upset that her mom was foisting off all of her clutter on to me LOL!  She said I would end up in the same position as her mother. At the time I didn't see it at all.  Now I do, that 15 y.o. had more wisdom than either of us!  A week later I brought some of the supplies to a preschool.  But just 2 days ago i donated 15 pounds of those crayons, 10 years later!!!!!

Selling is a lovely thought.   A little money back to ease the pain of having wasted your precious hard earned dollar.  You will quickly find that stuff generally does not sell quickly at all.  There are a few exceptions, price things like bicycles or cars at half of used value and they will be gone super quick.  But the majority of what you are selling, will just find you spend a lot of time posting and storing.  Add to that the frustration of dealing with meeting up with strangers, and long back and forth, they will want it for even less than posted, and maybe they won't even show up...

Donating is most people's solid fall back option.  Beware, that just because you donate does not mean it will not end up in a landfill!  Go into a thriftshop, there are far more clothes than shoppers.  You are almost as likely to see workers removing clothes/goods that have been too long as putting out new.  More and more you will find that donation centers are handing goods back to you at the door, stuff they know will not sell, and they don't want to take on the liability of throwing it away. I know that the clothes are sold as rag bundles, but often these ultimately end up its the trash.

That brings us to Landfilling, yup tossing it in the bin!  For some items this is the only choice, unless it is made of recyclable materials. Then there is guilt if it has to be thrown away because honestly, if you donate that blender that would cost more to fix than replace, you should feel guilty that the charity will just have to pay to throw it away for you.  For some people this is the only way out.  Yes the item could be washed, but there is so much it won't happen, or they don't have the resources to get themselves to donation centers (some will collect if you are close enough!) And often the reason you stopped using it was because it could no longer be used.

Brings me back to gifting to someone you know will use it, the benefit is triple, you get a boost as a gifter, they get a free item, and they are not stoking the consumer market buying a new one!  A lot of what you no longer want no one else wants/needs either! Be a conscious consumer, it will simplify your life by not ever having to make all these decisions.  When you buy that tchotchke at the dollar store, will you feel guilty when it comes time to pass it on, even thought it only cost you $1? When you give that gift, be it something you are passing on or a new holiday gift, will you feel guilty every time you see it filling someone else's space?

Not Going Gandhi

For Christmas we received a new toaster oven.  Our old one was fine, but the giver felt it looked, well, used.  The minimalist producer of trash in me was not happy.  And the toaster sat in the living room for almost 2 months in its box.  I asked if we could return it, dh thought not for a myriad of reasons.

I reasoned we could please the giver and use the new one.  The old one could find a new home with someone who needed it.  I have to confess I considered keeping it, to cook the kids modelling projects in.  That clay always says it should be kept separate from your food prep areas.  Thing is I don't trust that clay.  We have had it in a shoe box since we bought a 'few' packages back in college for some projects.  We did break it out the other day for our sons school project.  Please note that 4 months after project completion the whole thing has ended up in a landfill!

One look at our storage area proved there was no space for it.  I put the new box on the counter and told my dh the plan. We discussed it and he thought the toaster oven for his work place could improve his lunch choices, so it was decided. 3 days later it was still there and my dh took it upon himself to swap it out and took it to work.

At first I was immensely pleased at the action.  Then I noticed the little dent in the corner, sorry, it bothered me, my old one was not dented!  I did not use it that day. The following day I was over the dent and we began using the toaster oven.  It was terrible, there was no 'toast' button, so the kids had to turn the dial to start it for reheating their pancakes, etc.  The dial was so stiff that a tremendous amount of effort had to be put into it and then the dial went way to far, but was near impossible to turn back.  They had to stand there and watch it cook, when done take it out, and then unplug it.

Of course, with all of the things that they have on their mind (legos, dolls, play , ................getting ready for school), I knew it was just a matter of time before they forgot something and start a fire.  I called dh, and explained the problem.  He agreed that he would bring the old toaster back.  He was not pleased, it felt awkward to take it back even though we fully intended to switch it out with a new one. Several days later he had made the switch.

We learned something for the hassle.  First, if possible do not replace something that works for something 'new'.  It is wasteful of money and time, and you are promoted use of resources to produce something that is not truly needed.  Second, if you do replace something, give yourself a buffer period to be sure you made the right choice before sending out the old.  We often do this with the box of new products too, keep them for a few weeks--but we really are reducing the number of occurrences of new in our home.  Luckily in this case, we hadn't donated it and were able to remedy the situation without further purchases

We had made a similar mistake a few years ago. Every time that I use our tiny shop vac I wish that i had kept the rigid hose extender that went with it.  Upon receiving the new vacuum I promptly marched down the stairs and brought the old one to the curb.  I had even taken the time to write a not to would be takers there was a crack that needed repair.  THEN I went and used the new one, which had only flexible hose, and nowhere to hold on!  by the time I got to the curb it was gone :(

I know for a Blog about Simply Reducing there is a lot about purchasing in this post.  Remember I am on a Journey, and hope to get there.  And I simply want to reduce my waste, not go Ghandi.  Also, you can tell how much thought I give to new things--at least sometimes, and that is a step in the right direction.