DiM Balancing Space & Function Considering Future Downsizing

 I have been working to continue uncluttering my home and life.  I realized long ago that this is an iterative process. We have different chapters of life where our possessions are very different.  When you have babies you may want/need cribs, swings, bottles, car seats, strollers and other apparatus to make that season of life easier or more enjoyable.  Then you may have a phase of life where you just love painting and dedicated a large space and have many items for that process, and perhaps that spans decades, but then maybe, you start dedicating the majority of your time to pottery or bicycling, these new hobbies need completely different stuff.  And likely while you will not want to get rid of all of your paint, or may want to keep a few momentous of your child’s youth, you need the space for things you are actually doing in the present. So the process will continue, even if you are still painting, your tools may change.  Some things, like a baby stroller, are easy to let go, especially if when purchased you were thinking I am only going to be keeping this stroller until the baby is walking independently, sure you may keep it a little longer, until you have realized it is not worth the hassle of packing with you anymore because it is not used, and then you happily let it go.

when we moved into our new home the layout is very different from the old, especially in terms of storage. The old home was smaller but had large closets and plenty of them, a giant attic over the garage and a huge dry basement easily accessed.  The new home has a finished basement and not so generous closets and basically no attic, though we did build a couple small platforms for seasonal stuff and legos…cuz well.. legos… but it is a major PITA to get to!!!  Well we put a lot of the previously “stored” items in 2 of the small basement rooms.  Then i wanted to use one of the rooms for ‘gym’ space when i started doing PT. I managed to squeeze all that stuff into the other storage room.  But that room was a room i wanted to be able to use and enjoy.  So the process has been ongoing, making decisions about what items deserve space in our home and lives, all the while realizing that things will change.

I do have one large space int eh cellar for storage, it is not exactly easy to access though. It was filled when we moved in. Bins and boxes stacked in there in such away access was horrible.  Heavy bins would have to be unshackled and moved in Tetris-like fashion to try to get at something in there.  The past weeks we have emptied the closet, brought in 3 shelves….which in the future i will likely try to get it down to 3 smaller shelves, because it is too cramped.  I have off-loaded at least 6 bins and a couple of boxes worth of stuff. Some was disseminated to be used throughout the house, some donated, chucked in the bin, gifted, and some was consolidated. 2 of 3 bins of clothes were moved to the attic, the 3rd bin was mostly donated, with my daughter taking a few things for her closet of my old college clothes.   

One of the things that mostly made the cut and is being stored in that closet, much to my husband’s chagrin, are a number of my old college texts and notebooks….i know….but….  So here is my thinking i really would like to go back….and a few times my kids have actually referenced this stuff, because you know what, physics and calculus are actually basically the same, and the kids dont actually get books any more!!!  Also some bins of fabric, i do sew still a LOT and fabric is expensive, but it is also specific.  As it was all going in i was thinking, well if we moved to island we wont be taking this!  Well, for my husbands sake, and honestly mine, i started marking those boxes with the DiM, Donate if Moving.  These are items that I hope i will use up, including a couple of bins of gifts we will have out by Christmas at the latest.  If we get to another move, we can let them all go :) without stressing about not knowing what is in the bin/box.  I found when I started packing ahead of time for the last move that i was great about sorting out stuff I did not want to take with me and 0ff-loading it.  But towards the end i became overwhelmed and everything just got moved!  Hopefully i can trust myself that if a box says DiM and i have not made use of it that i can just donate quickly without too much thinking effort.

Uncluttering; A Process not Perfection

I had put some things my bedroom that were intended to be donated, but was not ready to taken yet.  Some of those were items my daughter was letting go.  Well, she chose to take over her fathers down jacket, and pass her more rugged jacket on.  After only 2 days, she slipped on ice on campus, the down coat has about 8 rips in it now….guess what, she came in and rummaged out her old jacket!!!!  

As i said i am not sure on the other item that was retrieved from the donation bags around that same time, it was retrieved and put where it belongs and no longer deserves space in my brain.  I do know that a few days before this I made the decision to donate a wool shirt, and it was brought to donation that same afternoon.  It has been a month and i still regret it!!

Now, i have gotten rid of a LOT of other stuff.   I donated a whole car load. And since emptied 7 large storage bings!!!   So there is plenty i have let go of and am glad is gone.

So is it sort of What-if clutter?  And could i have managed without had they been donated? These are questions i ponder.  Rationally, yes, my daughter could have just worn the torn up jacket, and i could have frankenstitched it to keep the rest of the down inside…but ill tell you we are all a lot happier with her wearing her old jacket and not spending money we dont have on a new one either.  I am happy she still has the old jacket.  So for now i am happier having a back up of necessary items.  We live in a cold area, jackets are necessary.  Going forward the question on donation will be - if this “necessary” item were ruined/lost, do you have another backup? (If yes, toss the extra), if no, would you use the old item?  If the answer is yes, id rather use the old one than spend money on new AND there is space for the backup, it will be kept. However if the answer was no i would not reuse the old one, then it is still a toss, and then deal with the fallout IF something happens. And that is how minimal spending will be happening in this household.    I think if this had been a discussion, others would have been able to help me get to that conclusion and moving on rather than just frozen, even though rationally i was able to figure it out.

I think that minimalism is something that has to weighed across all branches of life.  If i had more $$$ i would chuck that old jacket, and would have just replaced the one that was ripped.  But that is not the situation I am in!  I will not replace that shirt, until i get to a place where I NEED it, even though i would have used it, and it would have worked better than the alternatives utilized (though if i come across a wool shirt i will snag it, and toss something else).  On this note, i think i will not donate anything the same day whenever possible.  I will set it aside, that way if my brain works out a clever use—with the parameter that it is used right then- within a few days in holding i will not regret it.  And this is not about holding onto everything with the excuse that it may be useful, but that if something really is useful i am not weighted down with regret, and having to spend money we dont have on something we just tossed.  So in the case of holding before donating, it is about minimizing regret!!!

Finally, i have always advocated for the onion approach.  Simplifying is not “all or nothing”. We will all have different thresholds, varying levels of need of “stuff”.  For me clutter is unneeded stuff.  That jacket that was being tossed, because there were 2!, it was not clutter…turns out it was a necessary backup.  One person may live in a 1900sqqft house, as such they have a liability to clear the front walk of snow, the have the space for a shovel and a need.  Another person lives in 3000sqft house, and they pay someone to shovel-maybe they can pay for that person to live in a carriage house at the end of the driveway so they know that person will be able to get to the house in a crazy storm, so they will never need or use a shovel….but another person lives in in a 64 ft camper, and there is no room for a shovel, i hope they get to live somewhere without snow 😉.  But the onion, the onion has layers, and rather than thinking i have to deal with all the layers at the same time, i need to allow myself the grace to just peel away one layer at a time.  Getting rid of some stuff is better than getting rid of none because you are overwhelmed by the standard of having to get rid of everything.  When you finish peeling that first layer, just go back and start with the next, they can be thin layers, progress is the point, not perfection.  Perfection is unobtainable.` Mistakes will be made, and that is ok and expected, at least by this human.