DiM Balancing Space & Function Considering Future Downsizing

 I have been working to continue uncluttering my home and life.  I realized long ago that this is an iterative process. We have different chapters of life where our possessions are very different.  When you have babies you may want/need cribs, swings, bottles, car seats, strollers and other apparatus to make that season of life easier or more enjoyable.  Then you may have a phase of life where you just love painting and dedicated a large space and have many items for that process, and perhaps that spans decades, but then maybe, you start dedicating the majority of your time to pottery or bicycling, these new hobbies need completely different stuff.  And likely while you will not want to get rid of all of your paint, or may want to keep a few momentous of your child’s youth, you need the space for things you are actually doing in the present. So the process will continue, even if you are still painting, your tools may change.  Some things, like a baby stroller, are easy to let go, especially if when purchased you were thinking I am only going to be keeping this stroller until the baby is walking independently, sure you may keep it a little longer, until you have realized it is not worth the hassle of packing with you anymore because it is not used, and then you happily let it go.

when we moved into our new home the layout is very different from the old, especially in terms of storage. The old home was smaller but had large closets and plenty of them, a giant attic over the garage and a huge dry basement easily accessed.  The new home has a finished basement and not so generous closets and basically no attic, though we did build a couple small platforms for seasonal stuff and legos…cuz well.. legos… but it is a major PITA to get to!!!  Well we put a lot of the previously “stored” items in 2 of the small basement rooms.  Then i wanted to use one of the rooms for ‘gym’ space when i started doing PT. I managed to squeeze all that stuff into the other storage room.  But that room was a room i wanted to be able to use and enjoy.  So the process has been ongoing, making decisions about what items deserve space in our home and lives, all the while realizing that things will change.

I do have one large space int eh cellar for storage, it is not exactly easy to access though. It was filled when we moved in. Bins and boxes stacked in there in such away access was horrible.  Heavy bins would have to be unshackled and moved in Tetris-like fashion to try to get at something in there.  The past weeks we have emptied the closet, brought in 3 shelves….which in the future i will likely try to get it down to 3 smaller shelves, because it is too cramped.  I have off-loaded at least 6 bins and a couple of boxes worth of stuff. Some was disseminated to be used throughout the house, some donated, chucked in the bin, gifted, and some was consolidated. 2 of 3 bins of clothes were moved to the attic, the 3rd bin was mostly donated, with my daughter taking a few things for her closet of my old college clothes.   

One of the things that mostly made the cut and is being stored in that closet, much to my husband’s chagrin, are a number of my old college texts and notebooks….i know….but….  So here is my thinking i really would like to go back….and a few times my kids have actually referenced this stuff, because you know what, physics and calculus are actually basically the same, and the kids dont actually get books any more!!!  Also some bins of fabric, i do sew still a LOT and fabric is expensive, but it is also specific.  As it was all going in i was thinking, well if we moved to island we wont be taking this!  Well, for my husbands sake, and honestly mine, i started marking those boxes with the DiM, Donate if Moving.  These are items that I hope i will use up, including a couple of bins of gifts we will have out by Christmas at the latest.  If we get to another move, we can let them all go :) without stressing about not knowing what is in the bin/box.  I found when I started packing ahead of time for the last move that i was great about sorting out stuff I did not want to take with me and 0ff-loading it.  But towards the end i became overwhelmed and everything just got moved!  Hopefully i can trust myself that if a box says DiM and i have not made use of it that i can just donate quickly without too much thinking effort.

Uncluttering; A Process not Perfection

I had put some things my bedroom that were intended to be donated, but was not ready to taken yet.  Some of those were items my daughter was letting go.  Well, she chose to take over her fathers down jacket, and pass her more rugged jacket on.  After only 2 days, she slipped on ice on campus, the down coat has about 8 rips in it now….guess what, she came in and rummaged out her old jacket!!!!  

As i said i am not sure on the other item that was retrieved from the donation bags around that same time, it was retrieved and put where it belongs and no longer deserves space in my brain.  I do know that a few days before this I made the decision to donate a wool shirt, and it was brought to donation that same afternoon.  It has been a month and i still regret it!!

Now, i have gotten rid of a LOT of other stuff.   I donated a whole car load. And since emptied 7 large storage bings!!!   So there is plenty i have let go of and am glad is gone.

So is it sort of What-if clutter?  And could i have managed without had they been donated? These are questions i ponder.  Rationally, yes, my daughter could have just worn the torn up jacket, and i could have frankenstitched it to keep the rest of the down inside…but ill tell you we are all a lot happier with her wearing her old jacket and not spending money we dont have on a new one either.  I am happy she still has the old jacket.  So for now i am happier having a back up of necessary items.  We live in a cold area, jackets are necessary.  Going forward the question on donation will be - if this “necessary” item were ruined/lost, do you have another backup? (If yes, toss the extra), if no, would you use the old item?  If the answer is yes, id rather use the old one than spend money on new AND there is space for the backup, it will be kept. However if the answer was no i would not reuse the old one, then it is still a toss, and then deal with the fallout IF something happens. And that is how minimal spending will be happening in this household.    I think if this had been a discussion, others would have been able to help me get to that conclusion and moving on rather than just frozen, even though rationally i was able to figure it out.

I think that minimalism is something that has to weighed across all branches of life.  If i had more $$$ i would chuck that old jacket, and would have just replaced the one that was ripped.  But that is not the situation I am in!  I will not replace that shirt, until i get to a place where I NEED it, even though i would have used it, and it would have worked better than the alternatives utilized (though if i come across a wool shirt i will snag it, and toss something else).  On this note, i think i will not donate anything the same day whenever possible.  I will set it aside, that way if my brain works out a clever use—with the parameter that it is used right then- within a few days in holding i will not regret it.  And this is not about holding onto everything with the excuse that it may be useful, but that if something really is useful i am not weighted down with regret, and having to spend money we dont have on something we just tossed.  So in the case of holding before donating, it is about minimizing regret!!!

Finally, i have always advocated for the onion approach.  Simplifying is not “all or nothing”. We will all have different thresholds, varying levels of need of “stuff”.  For me clutter is unneeded stuff.  That jacket that was being tossed, because there were 2!, it was not clutter…turns out it was a necessary backup.  One person may live in a 1900sqqft house, as such they have a liability to clear the front walk of snow, the have the space for a shovel and a need.  Another person lives in 3000sqft house, and they pay someone to shovel-maybe they can pay for that person to live in a carriage house at the end of the driveway so they know that person will be able to get to the house in a crazy storm, so they will never need or use a shovel….but another person lives in in a 64 ft camper, and there is no room for a shovel, i hope they get to live somewhere without snow 😉.  But the onion, the onion has layers, and rather than thinking i have to deal with all the layers at the same time, i need to allow myself the grace to just peel away one layer at a time.  Getting rid of some stuff is better than getting rid of none because you are overwhelmed by the standard of having to get rid of everything.  When you finish peeling that first layer, just go back and start with the next, they can be thin layers, progress is the point, not perfection.  Perfection is unobtainable.` Mistakes will be made, and that is ok and expected, at least by this human.

The Case Against falling for the Storage Unit

it may be a mistake to rent storage.  It costs a LOT of money, that they dont have to spare.   I rented storage when we moved, the intent was the stuff would be in there for 4 months…. 2 years later i donated or gave away half, 10% was ruined, 10% was sold—-so 70% was never bought back to my home —and i had made huge huge cuts in decluttering and only paid for the ‘important good stuff’ to go to storage.   Maybe 10% of the stuff I have currently re-incorporated into my life. The remaining 30% is clogging the garage (2.5 years since the rental). And I will need to deal. With it this summer.   Now that 10% I did re-incorporate, i can say without hesitation, i would have been better off taking the thousands $$$ i spent on storage, not to mention the mental clutter and frustration of dealing with it over the years, and just buying the few things i did want…and i have to say that of the 10% reincorporated- i likely would not have re-purchased any of it had the whole storage unit disappeared!!!

I try to justify the time money and aggravation against storage with the alleviation of the pain of having to make the decisions to let go all at once.  But 20/20 hindsight i know that that procrastination came at a VERY steep cost. I worried constantly about the money being spent, and already spent on all the stuff. Almost everyday i worried about having to get over. To the storage unit to try to clear it out.  As it became clear there were issues to contend with keeping the stored items “safe”, there are rodents, bugs, moths got into my wool rugs :(,water (the unit had a leak) then anything not damaged by water directly, you have to worry about mold, and if it is not a conditioned space you have to worry about mold and temperature damage, getting too hot and dry is also damaging to materials.  And of course there is theft, several times, despite the facilities security measures there were break-ins. Also, when eh facility does maintenance they will require you to remove your belongings-even if you just have to put them back!!!!! It was this last request that finally pushed my husband to help me get the last 30% out of the unit LOL! I know most of it will be going, honestly i dont even know what it is anymore!   It was a VERY expensive way to learn, and caused much relationship stress, i do not recommend it :) 

Keeping Things- My Daughter is Wearing my HS/College Pants

 I have always lived a frugal life.  It was just the way I was raised.  It is a theme that keeps coming up.  How to balance excess and waste not, want not.

Having recently moved, and now emptying out bins, has opened up a lot of items that have been in storage for quite some time.  My youngest daughter recently went through a growth spurt, and pretty much ran out of pants that fit.  We came across three bins of my clothes that were boxed up after the pregnancy of my first child-yup 20 years ago!!!!  I had some really sweet pants that I wore through the end of high school and college!!!  She was in heaven!!!!  My pants are not only being worn again they are LOVED.  Yes, I would totally wear them again myself if I could lose the weight- and am seriously working towards that now- though I do not think that she will give them back.  In all honestly, I was keeping them because I 100% wanted to wear them again, I would not have kept them in case a child wanted them.  Also, it is proof positive about the decline of quality items with longevity in our consumer stream.

About a week ago that same daughter told me that she wanted a dress for her winter formal.  I put out the word in the community that we were looking for a dress and was gifted a blue velvet dress from the 90's.  We spent many quality hours re-working that dress into almost the exact dress that she had drawn for me that first day!!!! I did have to spend $5 on rhinestones ;)  

Those rhinestones bring me back to the topic of frugally keeping things for longer then 90 days - as

suggested by The Minimalists.  When the kids were younger there were other dresses, projects, and costumes that required the use of the rhinestone setter.  I have not used that in 4 years, but I was so happy to bust it out and watch her joy of creation with it.    Will I use it again, I think I will.  It may even be within 90 days!!!  She has already drawn her prom gown!!! These days are fleeting and bring great joy!!  And the question remains, is it worth keeping the rhinestone setter...maybe I could just use a soldering iron?  

If this were the one thing that were causing clutter, i think i would test the soldering iron.   And perhaps the fact that everything is causing clutter, is all the more reason i should do that...LOL!!  because I have too many things.  If they were things that I did not think had use in my life, it would be so much easier for me to pass them on!!!

Just 2 things

 Some days i just cannot get a lot done in the decluttering front. it is easy on those days to just do nothing. And then those days are doing nothing add up to a whole Lotta nothing

so today I will get rid of just two things, but if I get rid of two things every day that would really add up. perhaps it would make up for all of these that I did not get rid of one thing. So here are my two things today.

We Moved to a Bigger House and We Don't Fit

 Ironic, yet I don't think this is a minimalist failure. It is a journey, some are rockier and steeper than others. If you are judging, at least hear me out.  And feel free to offer your helpful insight in the comments.

We moved to a technically bigger house and we don't fit.  I joke that the people who had the house built originally were claustrophobic minimalists.  More likely, they were quite well-off and had a different mentality, that they will buy it again when they need it, and they don't need the tools of our everyday life, because they hire people to do 'that'.  By 'that' I mean, cleaning, auto care, maintenance, repair, Lawn Care, House maintenance and repair, etc.  I don't think they spent winters here either (and the HVAC system layout suggests it was primarily a summer home, but i may be wrong). This house literally has minimal storage, but lots of open space (which feels great!).  

We decided to sell our previous house in order to give each child their own bedroom as they become adults and were intending to attend the local college.While we did not need as much living space as the new home provided, we did LOVE the location, and it was literally the only home that came for sale that fit our needs in the time-frame we had.  Unfortunately, we lost our workshop spaces as well as storage.  The last house had an attic, a full cellar that provided storage and workshop space, a mini-barn for storing outdoor gear, and a garage with lots of overhead storage. The new place has a finished basement, offering an exercise space, office, guest space/rec room, so it's great.  However, there nowhere to store our off-season, crafting, and workshop tools.  There is basically no attic space and the garage has REALLY short ceilings (we used to put bikes, skis, sleds, bins of seasonal sports equipment, etc on the ceiling racks.

 In the process of staging our last home, we found plenty to pass on.  We were pretty amazed by what we found to gift to others (Huge fans of Buy Nothing, but sometimes the best perk of living on a busy road was the ability to leave stuff at the end of the driveway and have it magically disappear!!) I probably still have some of the pictures from that time to add to this post.

Then came packing to move and we just kept shedding things that we decided did not make the cut! Again this was surprising.  Because of the timing of the move, and because we sold our house at noon and bought the new one at 1 pm, we decided to get storage and start packing into that ahead of time (thank goodness!!!) Honestly, we were still moving stuff a couple of days after the sale.  and seeing all of it in storage was eye-opening, but we really did not have the time to contemplate.

We had 2 units, but we did not fill either, we probably could have just tetris'ed all of it into 1 unit. If we'd been in a better place physically, we wanted to fill them so there would be almost nothing to move on the day of the sale, this just did not happen. Fortunately, our son's friends helped us a LOT on moving day!!! 

Well, we got our stuff moved and I had surgery the next day.  The plan had been for my husband to retrieve one box per day and we would deal with it.  At this point, we realized how little storage we had and knew that there had to be some deep cuts.  My husband did not get those boxes.  That task had always been mine in past moves, and so it waited until I could walk again, over 6 months later, but still unable to do a lot.  I wish I had done more prior to the move.  It is so hard to give stuff away LOL!  people want it, but they don't just want it free, they want it delivered LOL!  

Tonight I offered up those Tupperware pieces (I included the article about toxins in the offer...) someone would like me to deliver them. I could put them ebay - yup people are buying them! $20 +shipping  and I have the matching spoons to sweeten the deal, but then I have to pay all of the fees, shipping, and taxes, but I suppose it would net me about $5  towards my measuring cup replacement...

A year later, I have a pile of things in my living space that still needs homes (most have been passed on or put away as it comes in).  I still have both of the storage units, each about 1/3 full- yes I should combine them, but each has some large items that are too heavy to move without help- and no, there is no space for them here, so they have to find new stewards.  These are tasks that sound so easy to talk about but are much harder to accomplish.  Again I wish I had taken pictures of the workshop setup so that I could post them for sale.  My husband had wanted to get things to the point he could set them up in storage for pictures, but he was too busy and then it was cold...so here we are if you had told me 2.5 years ago we would be renting storage, I would have said sure we have some fat to trim, but it all fits comfortably in our home, I know where everything is, and my house is super tidy, why would I spend money I do not have on storage. Honestly, I have had a conversation with my husband about, if we had ditched/donated everything after the first month, we could have replaced what we truly missed with all we have spent on storage fees!!!  not to mention all the time heartache and arguments!!!!

This is all true. But in the end, we will have considerably fewer belonging here in our larger home we have added a handful of pieces that we did not have in the old house.  Yet we have passed on far more items than we have added.  It's been confusing and frustrating. Over a year later we still have both units, and we have removed the majority of things from them, but deciding to let go has been slow, tedious work. and finding appropriate homes for the materials we want to keep has been nearly impossible.  It has eaten away at our time and nerves, and slowly we let go...so much more work to do!

On paper, this situation should not be, more space should make it easier to organize our things without clutter. Though I am overall glad for the change.  I will miss our woodworking shop and my glass studio.  I will not miss all of that funky wood dust in our basement!!!  And we have kept a full kit of modular tools, but it will be a lot more work to do a project this way. They will have to happen in the garage or in the driveway.  same with a glass window project, which I would still really like to do for our new home.  So huge life changes yet we have kept moving in the minimizing direction on this journey. 

Toxins Reducing the Stuff Load

 

As we find ourselves both more aware of the potential toxins our family's stuff exposes us to, and in a position to do better we are able to move these items out of our home.  Today we replaced our plastic measuring cups with Stainless Steel measuring cups :)  I had originally attempted to just this when we bought our first set of stainless steel measuring cups, that was close to 10 years ago.  But we found that when we bake, we bake a lot, and 1 set was never enough!  Always, it seemed, we needed a second dry measure....and so we never let go of the plastic! and we had 2 1/2 plastic sets!  Today we added a second set of stainless and will pass on those plastic measuring cups!!!  and if we need more than 2 we are going to have to wash & DRY!!! *gasp* the necessary cups!!!  pretty sure we can make it work...and who knows one day we may pass a metal set down to a child setting up there own house :)

The real impetus behind the final push to get these plastic items out (especially when finances are tighter than ever) was this article about Lead in Tupperware on Leadsafe mama. 

I have lots more to reckon with.  For instance the Pyrex measuring cups (lead in the red pain)....but i need a replacement before ditching or my husband may not be 'happy' with me, and really i should not be spending at all!! I highly doubt he will agree to ditch the crystal chandelier, but....i can likely get him to wear gloves next time we clean it as a compromise.

ETA: just remembered I have the matching green measuring spoons :( and an orange funnel...i love that funnel...maybe it is newer and less toxic. Also food for thought is even unpainted vintage glass (like the old baking pans from my grams may not be safe- and yes heavy metals can leach out of glass, in case like me you were hoping that would be ok...)